"Hey, sweet thing, you look like you could use a drink."
Kurt rolls his eyes at the terrible line, breaking away from his conversation with Rachel to face the bartender. “Is that really how they’re teaching the bartenders to upsell drinks now? I’ve heard better lines from pre-pubescent boys.”
"But can pre-pubescent boys comp drinks for the hottest guy in this bar?" the bartender - Blaine, according to his nametag - says flirtatiously.
"You may have that going for you," Kurt allows, inclining his head slightly. He notices Blaine’s eyes widen hungrily as more of his long, pale neck is exposed. "But I’ll be really impressed if you can guess what I want to drink."
"Easy," Blaine says, arrogant yet adorable. "Long Island Iced Tea. Just like you, it looks innocent, but packs one hell of a punch."
"Oooh, you are good,” Kurt purrs, leaning in seductively. He catches a whiff of Blaine’s cologne and has to consciously keep his poker face on, not wanting the hot bartender to know how truly attracted Kurt is so early in the game.
"That’s not the only thing I’m good at, baby," Blaine says, and God, his voice should not be allowed to go that low and smooth. “If you can wait fifteen minutes, my shift will end and I’ll be able to show off my dance moves, too.”
"I dunno, that’s kind of a long time," Kurt says coyly. He stirs his drink idly, batting his big blue eyes at Blaine and smirking internally at the dumbstruck look that appears on Blaine’s face. "How can I be sure it’ll be worth my while?"
"I saw you checking out my ass in the reflection from the lights as I bent over and got more ice out of the freezer. If you thought it looked good stationary, just imagine how well I can show it off on the dance floor.” Kurt chokes as Blaine says that, prompting Rachel to thump him hard on the back.
“God, B, you can’t just say things like that,” Kurt says when he catches his breath. “Are you trying to kill me?”
"Hey, you’re the one who suggested we try some roleplay." Blaine shrugs, entirely unapologetic. "It’s not my fault I’m better at talking the talk than you."
"Oh, really?" Kurt says, arching an eyebrow. "We’ll see about that in bed later tonight."
"Says the man who came his brains out solely from my dirty talking last week," Blaine says smugly.
"Can you guys maybe not go into explicit detail about your sex life while I’m sitting right next to you?!” Rachel cuts in, slamming a hand on the bar to get their full attention. “God, it was already weird enough agreeing to play along with your little sexcapade, I did not need to hear about what gets Kurt off on top of it!”
"I think I need to get someone home," Kurt says, giving Blaine an apologetic look. "Raincheck until you get home tonight?"
"Done. I love you!"
"I love you, too," Kurt coos as he leaves, prompting an eye roll from Rachel.
"I don’t understand how you two are somehow incredibly kinky and yet the oldest married couple I know," she says as they head for their bus stop.
"It’s a gift," Kurt teases, preening dramatically. Mentally, he’s already planning out how to surprise Blaine when he gets home. I did get that edible lube the other day…
Tonight’s going to be a fun night, if Kurt has anything to say about it.